Porn Store Stories: Rough Night

A few years ago I worked at an “adult novelty store”. Craziest job ever. I used to mentally compose letters to my more colorful customers and write them in a blog after I got home. That blog is long gone; these are the stories that I still have.

Dear customer,

No, the customer is not “always right”. Sometimes the customer is just a rude, entitled, jackass. Like you. I’m not giving you a discount because some other girl you can’t name or describe “always” gives it to you. The owner lets me know what the sales and discounts are, and that’s what I give. Deal with it or GTFO. I’m not jeopardizing my low paying, part time job that was all I could find after months of unemployment because you want discounted porn. I need this paycheck. Fuck off.

Sincerely,
That Bitchy Cashier at the Porn Store

 

 

Not At All Dear Cross-Eyed Man,

No, I will not be trying on that mesh dress thing so you “can see how your girlfriend will look in it”. We have a fitting room, if she exists, bring her in and SHE can try it on. My bra size is none of your business. Yes, my hair is soft, no, you may not touch it. I am a cashier. That is it. Not a “model”, stripper, or hooker. Yes, it’s a porn store, but all I do is work the cash register. Do you bother the Wal-mart cashiers like this? No? Then don’t bother me. Time for you to buy something or leave. There’s a strip club across the street, go bother them. Those girls get paid a lot better to be pestered by you.

Good Riddance,
The chick who just sells the stuff

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